December 18, 2025
First I was having a vague ordinary dream when I became more lucid. I didn’t realize I was dreaming but everything was vivid. I was in what seemed to be a large room which then transformed into a row of houses I was looking at from across a street. Suddenly I felt like I was waking up from a daze and all sense of separation disappeared for a moment. This is hard to describe, as all such moments are, but I saw that everything was just one simple thing – empty awareness – pure being. I can’t describe that but there was a sense of limitless freedom in that there was no me, no objects, nothing – nothing but emptiness. And yet I still saw everything as before. It’s just that I knew there was nothing to it and there was no person that could be affected by anything. I felt great joy and laughter but the realization vanished quickly and I thought “I almost had it!”
Then I woke up and in bed and tried to turn over but I was paralyzed. Normally when I experience sleep paralysis I know immediately that I am in an out-of-body state and go on an adventure but this time I struggled a bit in confusion. Then I actually woke up, realized this had been a false awakening, and noticed several differences in my body position and a few other things. The previous vision however was profound and has stayed with me in that I feel on the verge a major shift in my stae of being. But I have felt this way several times before. Nevertheless, it is always invigorating.